The review litmus test for me is: "did I enjoy myself?". I can say here, that I did not.

I loved Scoobie Doosical ★★★★★ (2023), so I was very excited for Rivercity, but for me the entire production did not land. It's got a live four-piece band which is incredible, except that tech issues mean that basically any time the band was playing the vocals were completely washed out and inaudible. This was especially prevalent with the lead actress.

Maybe if I was a bigger Archie fan, the stilted script full of "Egad!" and "Awooga" and verbalizing "teehee" and "giggle" would have been more cute instead of grating. But I am not, and it was.

There were some legitimately funny jokes – "No, its a Taylor" landed really hard for me – and some of the farcical elements were a joy. But ultimately, even when you find a cup of water in the desert, you still die of thirst.

Rebecca Merkley has done great stuff in the past, and has a clear technical talent, so I'll absolutely see her next work.

But for me, this production was a whiff.